Get it, girl.

Just reading about how Stephan Jenkins (lead singer of Third Eye Blind) used to date Charlize Theron (bear with me and my spotty knowledge of early 2000’s celeb and minor celeb hookups / breakups) and that many songs on their 2003 album, Out of the Vein were based on Jenkins’ emoshies about the split.

Now I’ve been in my room listening to this song on repeat and having feelings (whyyy) while I hang laundry up to dry.  Is this song about Charlize? Is Stephan talking about going down on C.T. in the shower???? Que??? This shit changes everything!

Other total what the fuck moments from the Out of the Vein Wikipedia page:

Vanessa Carlton (who I thought died tragically after “White Houses,” but who apparently also used to pork Stephan) is listed under personel (whatever that means) along with KIMYA DAWSON. Again. I ask you. QUE??

I guess what I’m trying to say is that maybe I should go to bed.

There are a lot of hetero dudes in my life who need to realize and then work on dealing with the fact that they are not, and never will be as funny as my female friends and I are.

.gif hain’t working, as ush, so you gotta drag that shit into a new window.

Very emotional emotions about Third Eye Blind right now.

Just saw a girl post on tumblr “I hate my bones.”

“I HATE MY BONES”

She hates her BOOOONES!

Hahahahahahahahah

ahahahahahaha

ahahahahahhhaaaaaa

HAHAHAAAA

LET’S HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT OURSELVES -

Let’s hate our flabby / non-defined / short / long arms

and our rubby-together thighs

and our too-thin / crusty-crust lips

and our flat / dimply / huge butts

and our weird nipples / areolae / vaginas

and our shitty-ass fingernails

and our crooked / yellow / stupid teeth

and our too-big / too ugly / too wide feet

and our expansive / boyish / childbearing hips

and our fat fingers (!?!?!)

and our roll-y stomachs (omgz can’t believe I almost forgot those lol!)

let’s hate EEEEVERYTHIIIIING - - -

Down to the actual calcium-rich structure that props our bodies up so we can, you know, move about and ambulate!

WE’RE GOING NOWHERE FAST, LADIES! OUR BODIES LOOK LIKE SHIT, ALWAYS! TIME TO COMMISERATE OVER HOW SHITTY AND DEFECTIVE WE ALL ARE!

LET’S GET READY TO DIIIIIIEEEET!!!

Just loling at Nicholas Sparks’s big, dumb face. This is what the author of Nights in Rodanthe looks like! O Nic, ye most prolific purveyor of treacle!

Do you think he cries while he writes the books? Do you think he always refers to sex as “lovemaking?” Do you think sometimes it’s so beautiful that he sobs during and after? Do you think his wife ever gets tired of him?

J/w, you guys.

My dad got some reading done.

Everything in my room is warm - hot to the touch because it is getting on summer in Pittsburgh. My laptop touchpad, my sheets, the floor, my own hair. Everything is damp / warm, with all the windows open. My job starts on Monday, and for days now I’ve been drifting in and out of naps in my heat-radiating bed - waking up each time coated in a light sheen of perspiration. My roommate who also lives on the top floor of our house (which is about ten degrees hotter than the bottom floor) told me earlier today: “I’m tired. I’m coming home and sleeping after my meeting. I took a two-hour womb-nap earlier today.”

Womb nap. Accurate.

Only 2:11 in and already the new neighbors’ barbeque / country party is impeding upon my Nonies experience w/ what I am told is loud Kenny Chesney.

Can u believe I haven’t seen this movie? Me either! I’m going to love it! Byeee!